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While Famed Pirate Captain Cecaelia was sailing her ship laden with bananas for the Prince of the Island of Richter, in the hopes of finding the fabled Grail of Persuasion, her ship, also named Cecaelia, struck ground in a storm and was attacked by zombie pirates.

Suddenly a bolt of lightning transported her and her crew; the grifting illusionist Lavar Lazzaro, orc mercenary Brakka Bendoo, and their dwarf cook "Cookie" Flintiron to the study of an all powerful entity who calls themselves only Snarf.

Snarf reveals to the crew that he brought them to a place he calls Generica, a magical land he created and controls, so that they may entertain him by completing quests as he sees fit. Their first is to rid the mining town of Regal Hollow of an infestation of gremlins.
They set off on this task after taking and receiving several gifts: For Cecaelia, a sickle and a pet octopus named Bao Bao; for Cookie, a flask of healing spirits and some rather disappointing jalapenos; Brakka, a vial of potent poison and orcish war paint; and Lavar, a magical map, five dollars, and then five MORE dollars.
The party is taken to Regal Hollow by Pokey, a talking donkey who seems to know his way around Generica quite well. They find Regent's Hollow over-run by gremlins and goblins and kobolds and the like just as promised and learn the pests are pressing the people of the town into digging potatoes up in the hills, under the direction of Regal Hollow's corrupt and unsettling Mayor, Rygel Duckbirth.

After Cecaelia’s seduction of Duckbirth goes horribly awry, she is beset upon by scores of gremlins. She is only saved by Brakka, who, thinking quickly, poisons the potatoes that the gremlins find so irresistible, and throws them into the melee, poisoning many of them. Meanwhile "Cookie" shatters the base of Duckbirth's spine with a powerful headbutt to his ass, paralysing him from the waist down.

After some light torture, and then some heavy beatings, Duckbirth is persuaded to send the gremlins, the only living creatures who ever cared about him, away forever. He also reveals the existence of the Ring of Destiny, but before the party can continue on to find it, they are transported back to Snarf's Library.

In the library, a miniature of a broken Duckbirth and a poisoned gremlin appear in Snarf's Shadow Box of Trophies. A very pleased Snarf gives Captain Cecaelia and her crew their next task: to find the Ring of Destiny, which they already kind of want to do anyway. 

Also... There's was a magical headshot of Kelsey Gramer that tells them facts about Generic but they don't know what to do with all the tossed salad and scrambled eggs. 


Cookie The Dwarf from NO DICE's Personal Recipes

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