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REFERENCES! The sinister entity known as SNARF has created a galaxy within the blood diamond maze ruled by an evil government, the details of which were not explained. The evil REALMERER of the Galaxy is planning to take the WICKET, something which is definitely important, to build a super weapon on with the power to destroy an ENTIRE PLANET, or several, again the details have not been specified.
On TABOOINE a brave crew of adventurers led by the PIRATE CAPTAIN CECALIA navigate a rogues gallery of thieves, smugglers, bounty hunters, and the kind of problematic stereotypical racial shorthand one might find in a GEORGE LUCAS serial. They eventually steal the famous space-freighter FAST GUY, the fastest ship in the GALAXY, and travel to the planet CROISSANT, where the super weapon is being built.
On Croissant they are immediately BETRAYED by their pilot BADGES and captured by the annoyingly French DARTH VAPER. Space-sloppy Joe gourmand, “Cookie” EVADES capture, but the rest are taken before the REALMERER in his throne room. The Realmerer and his henchmen DARTH VAPER are defeated by the power of love. Oh, did I say love? I meant lust, base, dirty, HORNY lust, as Brakka and Cecaelia SEDUCE them with promises of HOT SEX, into betraying and killing each other. Meanwhile “Cookie” teams up with a beautiful SPACE PRINCESS we know absolutely nothing about to DESTROY the Wicket.
The WICKET destroyed, they return to Snarf’s Study. There LAVAR LAZZARO reveals that he has been an agent of SNARF all along, indeed, for as long as he can remember: FINDING unfortunate ADVENTURERS for him to use as he sees fit in his MAGICAL WORLD. Lavar CURSES Snarf to the heavens and vows to destroy him, with the help of his NEWEST FRIENDS by traveling deep into the very heart of GENERICA wherein lies the devious magician's lair...