S1: EPISODE 5 - CAMPAIGNFIRE TALES, LET'S MAKE CAMP!

EPISODE RECAP

Upon entering the mysterious Blood Diamond with the goal of making it to the center of its maze and escaping Snarf’s Dungeon, Captain Cecaelia’s crew is met by a concierge that invites them to dress in attire that is not of their time. After choosing strange new outfits and stranger new weapons, they are invited to enter the first level of the Blood Diamond’s Labyrinth a world within a world called High Noon, which is someplace west of Cincinnati.

On the streets of High Noon, the adventures run into a vision of Brakka’s long dead sister, Delores, a vision with whom Lavar is immediately enamored. This upsets “Cookie” as he thought the passionate night of “s”ing and “f”ing they all shared in their drunken any-which-way in Jazz City actually meant something. In attempt to avoid the breathing spectre of her sister Brakka takes the crew to the High Noon Saloon where they meet the ever traveling Bob and Sheila and discover that the whole town of High Noon is merely a high scale resort for the people of Generica. They also learn that Bob and Sheila are really fun drunks and into some hot shit in the ‘f’ing and ‘s’ing department.

As they enter the saloon, “Cookie” runs into his own doppelganger, the spitting image of his great ancestor “Cheffy” who may or may not have actually ever existed. Thinking “Cheffy” some sort of resort robot, “Cookie” plunges a tomahawk into “Cheffy’s” chest only to find him a living breathing dwarf not unsimilar to himself. A desperate scramble ensues to save “Cheffy” before he dies and erases “Cookie” from existence.

Meanwhile, Lavar is arrested by his old Headmaster for the murder of Danny, his boyhood best friend who had gone missing falling into a magical well. Lavar confronts the Headmaster in a conversation that “Cookie” didn’t really pay attention to,  in the jail that “Cookie” didn’t realize he wasn’t in, that “Cookie” eventually blows a whole into with the dynamite he picked up before entering the town.

They escape right through the middle of the High Noon Shootout Show that happens everyday at High Noon, and is being watched by Bob, Sheila, and Captain Cecaelia, now into her fourth or fifth gin and tonic. In a vain attempt to cause a distraction, “Cookie” takes out the legendary Yakety Ax and, in a naked frenzy followed by phantom constables, such is the axes gift and curse, hacks all the weapons from the robots hands, causing them to malfunction and shut down. This act brings the concierge, Delios, back and he congratulates the company for showing mercy on the robots by arresting their endless scheduled carnage. As a reward he tells the party they must go to the edge of town and confront the four riders at the gallows to continue deeper into the maze.

Their path to the edge of town is blocked, however, by Dolores and the Headmaster, the later summoning Judge Mesa from Cincinnati and demanding Lavar stand trial for the murder of Danny.  A trial Brakka cleverly avoids by stepping just outside of Judge Mesa’s, who is actually three flies wearing judge robes, jurisdiction. Dolores is not satisfied however and charms Lavar and Brakka to stay in town forever. Only by an act of tough love from an embarrassingly inebriated Captain Cecaelia’s flailing tentacles is Brakka able to overcome the enchantment, and blow a hole through the imposter Dolores with the shotguns she chose before entering the town.

Now they must leave High Noon for the Gallows and the Four Riders who await them there in this week’s episode of NO DICE.