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Captain Cecealia and crew wake up in a darkened night club in Jazz City called The Cat House with no memory of how they got there or what they did last night. A salacious note left for Brakka by the Ice-man and a matchbook in Cecaelia's pocket lead them across the street to BottleBabbies, the kind of place where a body can get anything: Sex, an education, a quite place to read, anything.

They ask the shopkeeper, Fosse, for any clues about what happened to them the night before, and learn that "Cookie's" brand new "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner" tattoo came as the result of his winning a cock-fight the night before. They also learn that they met Ice-man and his partner, Fire, at a belly-dancing contest the night before, a belly dancing contest that Brakka lost, badly.

The crew decides to visit the VIP room they were invited to the night before to piece together more of what happened, only to find Fire, naked and dead, hanging in the bathroom, their only clues a single letter "I" under his finger nail, and an incriminated message on the mirror, a message Brakka cannot read. Suddenly Lavar sets Fire's body on fire for some reason and as Brakka desperately tries to stomp it out, an 8 foot tall Catfolk, burst in looking for "Cookie."

The Catfolk and his clan, creatively named the Alley Cats, accuse "Cookie" of cheating in the Cock-fight the night before by not being a chicken. In fear for his life "Cookie" melts the gang with a surprising hot-grease care-bear stare from his tattoo. With the death of his entire family The Catfolk explains that he too was once an adventurer brought to Generica for the amusement of Snarf and urges them on to find a way out he never could.
Their next stop is the Jazz-club where the Jazz Magicians Fire and Ice play, a little place called, ugh, Saxty-nine, and the less said about that place the better, because it was VERY WEIRD.

Their investigation finally takes them to Hex's House of Mediocre Diamonds, where Ice-man has been waiting for them the whole time. In his hand he holds the blood diamond which turns out to be the key to their freedom, and he explains everything that happened the night before, everything, the belly-dancing, the cockfighting, the death of Fire after the orgy in which everybody did everything to each other, everything. 

During his exposition, Ice-man reveals that he had been trapped in Generica for 300 years and knows that the blood diamond holds the key to his liberation, but he could never find out how to enter it. Then, blaming Brakka for his partner's death, he attacks the crew by summoning Ice-daggers and Ice-men and Ice-tigers and the like. Both "Cookie" and Bao Bao are grievously wounded in the ensuing melee, and only by wielding her newly acquired Mouthsmasher: Mace of the All-star is Brakka able to defeat the Jazz Magician Ice-man with her hits that started coming and wouldn't stop coming.                                                                            

The blood of the vanquished Ice-man opens up the blood diamond and Captain Cecaelia's crew are magically transported inside. Can they find their way through the maze inside the diamond to the center and escape Snarf's Dungeon? Is it too late for "Cookie?" And are things gonna get weird with everyone now that they've all done, you know, stuff, with each other?

Find out on this week's episode of No Dice. 



Cookie The Dwarf from NO DICE's Personal Recipes

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