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The capricious all-powerful entity known only as Snarf sends Captain Cecalia's crew to the treacherous depths of Regal Hollow's Potato Mines to seek out the Ring of Destiny. Inside the adventurers take the road less traveled, which is always on the left, after being beckoned by the whispers of a sweet wind. The wind turns quickly into a trap of course as they are almost immediately set upon by three steam monsters.

The Steam Monsters, or Steamies are quickly dispatched with a combination of grifting illusionist Lavar Lazaro's magic, and seven and half foot tall orc mercenary Brakka Bendoo's grappling lungs. Levar chooses this time to tell stories he heard of a man-eating tribe of sentient mushrooms that lurk in the depths of this potato mine.

Upon hearing of the sentient mushrooms "Cookie," always the culinary curioso, races deeper into the mine following an acrid stream of potato waste and toxic run-off from the land fill above. The stream takes them to a chamber out of time, where four skeletal miners challenge "Cookie" to make them a meal and be their chef forever.

Taking this as a threat "Cookie" goes about stirring a treacherous pot of poison beans and acrid mine water. Only at the last minute does he realize that one of the skeletons is none other than remains of Stand Duckbirth, original owner of the Ring of Destiny, and saves him from the devastating effects of his caustic concoction. Duckbirth gifts them a magic compass named Alexa to help them find his ring and, his curse broken, disappears into the shadows of the mine.

After a ways following the compass Alexa's directions, they come to a passage lined with the fabled Sentient Mushrooms. The screams of the mushrooms suffering "Cookie"s overzealous harvesting awakens the frightful Mushroom King and Queen and they send their children of various sizes and properties to attack the murderous intruders. Captain Cecaelia is invigorated by ingesting one mushroom, shrunk by ingesting another, and restored by ingesting a third. Lavar is almost corrupted by mind-controlling molds. The party is saved by Brakka who smashes the King and Queen apart with her newly acquired Disco Club of Hits.

Beyond the kingdom of the sentient mushrooms Captain Cecaelia's crew finds a study similar to Snarf's where The Portrait of Kelsey Grammar reveals to them that the Ring of Destiny was their friendship all along, and also an actual Ring of Destiny. Captain Cecaelia takes the ring only to find out that it is cursed. Warts start popping up on her arms and tentacles, as they do on everybody there.


They now have only 24 hours to return the ring to the finger of the Statue of Mama Duckbirth in Duckbirth Manor in the cursed town of Lands End by the Cliffs of North Face which hold the Dwarven mines of Azhkâzh B’gâzh, or they are doomed to the same fate as 1 in 4 sexually active Wisconsinites to be covered in warts, forever!!!


Cookie The Dwarf from NO DICE's Personal Recipes

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