"You Are Never Too Old to Be an Assh*le Unisex T-Shirt"

You might be “too old” to wear Velcro shoes or watch SpongeBob, or even play in the ball pit at McDonald's, but you are never too old to be an asshole. Our society allows for unruly, irritating, and vulgar people of every age, so feel free to be you. 
You roll out of bed every morning with the realization that your home vaguely illustrates who you truly are...dirty dishes inconveniently sprawling across kitchen counters, wet towels consuming the bathroom floor, old pizza boxes over-flowing the garbage. Every roommate you've (briefly) had has left disgusted and angry. You’re an asshole - no shame, no regrets; you just want everyone to know. And when you're spending a night out on the town or you're attending a grade school band recital, wearing this striking shirt will be sure to get the attention you deserve. Better buy this shirt now before a bigger asshole does!